A real, actual query letter

I thought, since I wrote a guide on how to get your book published, that I would give a real-world example and include an actual query letter that I sent out to an agent. When you are starting to work on yours, feel free to use mine as an example. (I am one of those people who learns by example, so if you happen to be like that, too, great!)

I’ve left it entirely intact with the exception of removing names and identifying material as I did not end up signing with this agent.

Without further ado, here it is!

Dear Mr. x,

I am an Active Duty airman in the U.S. Air Force and have recently
finished writing my first book, Gift of the Shaper. I thought you
might be interested in the completed 120,000-word manuscript, an epic
fantasy novel similar to The Wheel of Time series in its narrative and
use of magic, and Game of Thrones in scope. It combines an immersive,
magical world with fast-paced writing and a diverse cast of characters
that I think you will enjoy. And, while I am no (redacted, popular author), I
certainly enjoyed his (epic fantasy) series, which you may be familiar
with since you represented his (book from the series).

For thousands of years, the Breaker of the Dawn has slept in his
ancient prison. Now, Thornton Woods finds himself trapped in a war
between the noble Athrani – a subset of humanity gifted with the
ability to transmute matter – and the malevolent Khyth – who can move
or reshape objects using a power called “Shaping” – as the Khyth seek
to free their master, the Breaker, from the ethereal plane of the
Otherworld.

After his father, Olson, is kidnapped, Thornton and his childhood
friend, Miera, leave their small village of Highglade to find him. On
their way they are joined by Ynara and Kethras – cat-like humanoids
called Kienari – who use their skills as hunter/trackers to follow
Olson’s trail. When it comes to light that Thornton possesses the one
thing that could aid the Breaker’s release – the Hammer of the
Worldforge – he and his friends must defy the might of the Khyth in
order to stop them from freeing their master and bringing ruin to the
world as they know it.

As for me, I am a 12-year Active Duty veteran of the United States Air
Force, serving under the Air Force Special Operations Command. In
2004, I earned my AA after graduating at the top of my Korean class at
the Defense Language Institute Foreign Language Center in Monterey,
Califorina, and earning the Korean Consul General’s award for
excellence. I graduated from Bellevue University with a Bachelor’s of
Science in Security Management in 2008. I recently finished writing my
debut novel, Gift of the Shaper, while serving on my seventh combat
tour, and am based out of Cannon Air Force Base in Clovis, New Mexico.

I will gladly send you sample chapters or the completed manuscript
upon request. As I am currently deployed in support of combat
operations “somewhere in Africa,” email will be the most reliable way
to contact me.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

D. L. Jennings
dave@dl-jennings.com