“Gift of the Shaper in the Wild,” is a series of articles intending to highlight the people who are the backbone of the success of Gift of the Shaper: my friends, and the people who were crazy enough to pick up my book. I couldn’t think of a better way of saying “thank you,” so this is my attempt at doing so. Check out some of the other profiles here! 

Throughout my life I’ve had the privilege of knowing some pretty incredible people, and the one joining us is no exception. Today I’ll be doing a profile on Ken Webster, Jr., host of Pursuit of Happiness — and who also happens to be a very close friend of mine from high school.

D.L.: Tell us a little about yourself, and be as self-deprecating as possible.

I grew up a poor black lesbian in the South…. Actually, that’s not true, I’m a middle class white guy from the suburbs of Chicago with slightly above average looks and intelligence.  My life is about as middle of the road as it gets, but that’s okay.  I embraced my mediocrity years ago and it’s served me well.  After attending the University of Illinois-Chicago where I got average grades in courses related to journalism and political science, I graduated to a career of telling fart jokes on the radio.  I am the executive producer of the syndicated Walton & Johnson Show, the most popular morning talk radio show on the Gulf Coast since 1983.   I also host a late night talk radio show called Pursuit of Happiness Radio that has a similar audience – pot smoking people who live in shotgun shacks and love Jesus.

D.L.: I know your wife would disagree with me, but I think you’ve got a face for radio. How did you get your start in it?

I got my start during college hosting an afternoon music & talk show with a friend of mine named Charles Fuller.  During college I also briefly produced a late night weekend dance music show on Q101 in Chicago, which is an alternative rock station.  While I was there I met Mancow, a nationally recognized radio personality who made regular appearances on Fox News.  Mancow really gave me my start – he put me on the radio and let me write comedy bits for his show.  He also made me his technical producer, which means I played a central role in the production and execution of every broadcast.

D.L.: I would like to point out that I’m a huge fan of Mancow, and his depravity got me through mornings in high school. Speaking of depravity, if you were forced into an Anchorman-style showdown with a team of three other talk show hosts, who would be fighting alongside you?

I would select the greatest warriors in my industry to be my battle comrades.  First I’d pick Joe Rogan because of his connection to the MMA scene [Editor’s note: since we can’t link it directly, I’d also suggest a quick google search for Joe Rogan’s muscles].  Then I’d choose Robin from the Howard Stern show because nobody can punch a girl, which will give me an advantage in the fight.  For my final selection, I’d choose Ryan Searcest.  He might seem feminine, but he’s in great shape so he probably works out a lot [Editor: he does].

D.L.: You’d make a great team captain. Besides assembling radio show fighting super-teams, what brought you to Houston? And what would you say has been your favorite part (or parts) about living there?

I first came to Houston because of the Walton & Johnson show.  I was living in Chicago, the place where I grew up, and I really wanted to go somewhere else.  It wasn’t that I disliked my life or my job, but people often have a strange relationship with the place where they were raised, and I’m no different.  Leaving Chicago was just something I had to do before I turned 30 – I didn’t want to live the rest of my life in a town where I felt out of place politically (I’m a libertarian and Chicago is chock full of the most progressive of Democrats – moderates are considered conservative by Chicago’s standards).  So I sent off a demo tape of some of my radio comedy bits (it was actually an mp3, but “Demo tape” sounds cooler) to the hosts of the syndicated Walton & Johnson show, a popular talk radio show in the South that has a similar audience as Mancow.  At the time I thought they were based out of New Orleans because they were so popular in that city, but it turns out they’re actually based out of Houston.  They flew me down for an interview and the rest is history.

D.L.: So here’s a hypothetical for you to keep you on your toes. After your long years of doing radio, the American people have spoken and elected you secretary of education. In a Battlestar Galactica turn of events, you suddenly find the rest of the government gone, and you are next in line for ascending to the Presidency. What changes do you make?

If I were President? Oh jeez.  I am terrified to think of a dystopian version of the future where I am somehow made into a political leader.  Unlike a lot of political talk radio personalities, I don’t like politicians.  I’m sure a lot of my peers would actually agree with me on this one – it’s not like being a sports talk radio hosts where you have a favorite player; even the politicians who I kind of respect are still just politicians at the end of the day.  I guess if I were President the first thing I would do is encourage Congress to file articles of impeachment against me because I am way too unqualified for that job (and since I hate all politicians that includes myself if I happen to become one).

D.L.: Hoisted by your own petard. I like it. Since politics is obviously not in your future, are there any other projects you’re working on? 

I am currently working on a few.  Besides hosting my nightly show and regularly publishing articles at KPRCRadio.com and other news radio sites scattered around the Gulf Coast, I’m also getting more into YouTube.  I’m working on a new video series called “Ken Webster Jr – Real American Dirtbag”.  It’s basically just a video series where I give commentary on various news stories.  I recently had an animated intro produced for the video series, but I haven’t started posting yet because I’m fickle and I don’t like the way the test shots look in my video production studio (i.e. the living room of my townhome).

D.L.: I’ve watched a couple of your appearances/interviews on TV. Which one are you most proud of?

I’ve done a number of TV appearances here in Houston on the local Fox-News affiliate, but the most memorable moments are probably the couple of times I’ve appeared with Willie D of the Geto Boys.  They were a famous rap group in the 90s – you might remember their music from the movie Office Space.  TV news producers probably put us on a panel together because they assumed we’d disagree about hot button news stories (he’s a Democrat and I lean more conservative) but we always end up agreeing with each other.  After all, how am I gonna disagree with the Geto Boys?  They wrote Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta, a song that was a staple of my teenage years (I was the biggest gangster in my affluent suburban town).

D.L.: Yes, I think I’ve heard of it.

D.L.: Which guest would you most like to have back on again and why?

I’ve interviewed some interesting people in the past – comedian Doug Stanhope, tech mogul John McAfee, Senator Mike Lee and a man who thinks he’s a real vampire, just to name a few.  But I think I could really pick anyone to interview, it would be Vladimir Putin or Kim Jong Un.  I just think it would be funny to interview an actual dictator.  I’d give them really tough questions, but also some funny questions that elicit awkward responses.   Any dictator will do – it doesn’t have to be Putin or Lil Kim.  I’d even settle for Bashir Assad.

D.L.: I’d hope you would plug my book at least. Speaking of shameless plugs, what did you think about Gift of the Shaper? 

Gift of Shaper is probably the best book of the year [Editor’s note: Ken, I will be quoting you here].   I actually feel bad for every other author who releases a book this year because they’ll be overshadowed by the awesomeness of Gift of Shaper.  Releasing a book in the same time period as Gift of Shaper is the literary equivalent of releasing a movie the same week as Star Wars.

D.L.: Have I told you lately that I love you? That was rhetorical. Please don’t answer that. Instead, how about we do this like Geraldo, and you leave us with a parting thought?

It turns out that advice you were once given about not eating before you go swimming is totally false.  You don’t have to wait 30 minutes to swim after having a ham sandwich.  You won’t cramp up.  You were lied to.   Now go forth and enjoy swimming while you eat wet pork!